school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
