just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
