Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
