part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
