how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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