He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
