so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
