i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
