sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just want to make out with him forever
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
