Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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