yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
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So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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