She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
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k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize