Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
