Your mouth is God's brothel.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Ladies don't puke and tell
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
