plz talk dirty to me
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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