you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
