You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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