The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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