Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
