everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
