dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
