wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
