im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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