New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
