you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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