Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
