We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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