kristin has been a bad kristin
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
