I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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