my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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