I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
