i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
