What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
