Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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