I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize