You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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