You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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