The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
