I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
