PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
