Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
