Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+07): View more from

tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

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(214): View more from Texas

How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend

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(541): View more from Oregon

we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(801): View more from Utah

he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?

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(678): View more from Georgia

Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now

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(314): View more from Missouri

You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.

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(936): View more from Texas

Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?

(713): View more from Texas

You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.

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