Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  The one in Montpelier?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.

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  (802): You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns? (1-802): The one in Montpelier? (802): yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed. http://tfl.nu/hzcv
  Replies (53) Good night (570) Bad night (2307)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?

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  (251): Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone? http://tfl.nu/sjee
  Replies (39) Good night (822) Bad night (3073)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.

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  (609): walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice. http://tfl.nu/elke
  Replies (11) Good night (3711) Bad night (661)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.

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  (214): ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it. http://tfl.nu/o4vn
  Replies (7) Good night (3736) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...

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  (908): Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty... http://tfl.nu/7ob9
  Replies (13) Good night (2781) Bad night (1261)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.

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  (303): You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool. http://tfl.nu/uc3l
  Replies (12) Good night (2038) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee

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  (315): i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee http://tfl.nu/vhng
  Replies (8) Good night (2012) Bad night (621)
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  (323): View more from California

  It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent

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  (323): It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent http://tfl.nu/xdm3
  Replies (12) Good night (2895) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.

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  (541): I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out. http://tfl.nu/wy42
  Replies (11) Good night (759) Bad night (1157)
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  (510): View more from California

  Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.

  (1-510): View more from California

  That is one convoluted booty call.

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  (510): Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week. (1-510): That is one convoluted booty call. http://tfl.nu/bxw4
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (959)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Your penis chewing exercise is not working

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  (813): Your penis chewing exercise is not working http://tfl.nu/tw98
  Replies (6) Good night (567) Bad night (1663)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose

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  (262): You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose http://tfl.nu/d8zc
  Replies (6) Good night (1586) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"

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  (215): I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory... (1-215): just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!" http://tfl.nu/238t
  Replies (10) Good night (2424) Bad night (592)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.

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  (605): I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now. http://tfl.nu/u9c0
  Replies (1) Good night (284) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.

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  (716): I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand. http://tfl.nu/bl1h
  Replies (5) Good night (166) Bad night (664)

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