Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Me too!

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  (503): Me too! http://tfl.nu/uciw
  Replies (34) Good night (658) Bad night (1223)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.

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  (757): If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans? (269): Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass. http://tfl.nu/u35z
  Replies (13) Good night (2422) Bad night (714)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics

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  (740): Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics http://tfl.nu/20pv
  Replies (3) Good night (1972) Bad night (474)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im holly from the hills drunk

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  (203): im holly from the hills drunk http://tfl.nu/ouvm
  Replies (18) Good night (3809) Bad night (896)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"

  (231): View more from Michigan

  OMG its one we used last night

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  (231): Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing" (231): OMG its one we used last night http://tfl.nu/jpyf
  Replies (19) Good night (1097) Bad night (9212)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.

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  (208): Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids. http://tfl.nu/l7h3
  Replies (19) Good night (4015) Bad night (1178)
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  (909): View more from California

  I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar

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  (909): I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar http://tfl.nu/dhbh
  Replies (5) Good night (1632) Bad night (529)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Is there a law against that?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.

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  (304): Is there a law against that? (717): Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life. http://tfl.nu/tyhd
  Replies (5) Good night (3416) Bad night (692)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished 

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  (916): I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished  http://tfl.nu/f0m1
  Replies (7) Good night (905) Bad night (599)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles

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  (+44): Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles http://tfl.nu/aiso
  Replies (4) Good night (494) Bad night (1592)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.

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  (860): Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide. http://tfl.nu/fj39
  Replies (6) Good night (1405) Bad night (484)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..

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  (919): I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number.. http://tfl.nu/y7re
  Replies (8) Good night (1206) Bad night (762)
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  (831): View more from California

  You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!

  (408): View more from California

  For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?

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  (831): You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!! (408): For my parents' annivery card? How high are you? http://tfl.nu/qppn
  Replies (2) Good night (1605) Bad night (506)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me

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  (413): Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me http://tfl.nu/3euu
  Replies (7) Good night (487) Bad night (1019)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.

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  (781): Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it. http://tfl.nu/uzna
  Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (256)

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