a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize