Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

How is your vagina???

(941): View more from Florida

Double booked

(646): View more from New York

With your butt?

(941): View more from Florida

Totes, candlesticks and all

(646): View more from New York

Yay!!

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(518): View more from New York

He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina

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(248): View more from Michigan

Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"

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(314): View more from Missouri

So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

how do you play pong handcuffed?

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(575): View more from New Mexico

All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me

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