in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.