you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're a waste of cheezeits
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
