check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
