when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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