Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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