do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
