okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
