is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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