i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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