she was so not down for the gang bang
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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