What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
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I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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