the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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