come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i think im in europe. pls send help
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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