no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You're a waste of cheezeits
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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