Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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