I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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