If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
