I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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